The New World Order (NWO): Text Speak

Vangie Beal has a neat list on the Webopedia Quick Reference Guide to more than 1,400 text message and online abbreviations to help those of us less hip than my two teenage daughters with translation of an ever-increasing list of acronyms. TG (Thank God).

When I taught in college, I’d always say, “Shorter is better.” Well, the texting world has taken this to a new level. Just glancing over the list, I’d say I’m a bit OOTL (out of the loop).

While I may be RME (rolling my eyes) at the plethora of acronyms spewing forth from my kids’ iPhone 6s, it is JMO (just my opinion) this is just the start of something a lot more revolutionary. I know my daughters are BAG (busting a gut) over my ineptitude, but it’s like reading a foreign language to me. AAMOF (as a matter of fact), I’d say it’s a vast RWC (right wing conspiracy) if I didn’t know better.

Of course, we have been using acronyms forever. The government and military helped us with that. Sending an SOS about WMDs to a CO is pretty much standard. The problem is, for me, that it takes me a lot longer to figure out what someone is trying to say with the abbreviations than simply reading the whole phrase or expression. But abbreviations are for the sender’s convenience, not the recipient’s, LDO (like, duh, obviously).

But, BOT (back on topic), I see some real benefit from all the texting today. Easier awkward dinner dates is just one. And, for the pimply faced, red-headed man-child who is trying to date my oldest daughter, I’ve taught her an important one: MDIAC (My dad is a cop). Seems to work.

There are shorties I do like: CRAFT (Can’t remember a freaking thing). Yes, that’s right, I said “freaking.” And the ones for the executive boardroom are just precious: IMSB (I am so bored) and GGOH (gotta get out of here). There’s also SH^ (shut up) and TFS (thanks for sharing). But, I caution from the use of certain, politically incorrect ones such as VBL (visible bra line).

Do we need an AFZ (acronym free zone)? Yes, we do. AAMOF (as a matter of fact), I’d venture to say that dropping the texting altogether and speaking face-to-face cannot be beat. But then again, I’m a dinosaur. While it may NBM (not be me), there are many proponents out there.

In closing, let me just say YTG (you’re the greatest) and CULA (see you later alligator).

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